| Fic: Nobody Fades, Chapter 2 |
[Jun. 21st, 2009|06:36 pm] |
Chapter 2 of mine and ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) stellawind's joint project.
Title: Nobody Fades
Spoilers: All the way through KH2.
Characters/Pairing: Sora, Roxas. Will be Sora/Riku/Kairi, with others later on.
Summary: "Why do you need to die for me to be complete?" Sora won't settle for this, and Roxas is finding that having a heart again is a lot harder than he'd thought it would be. But if Sora, Riku, and Kairi can't figure out who's behind the new attacks, it'll be a moot point.
Chapter 1
His mother's gazed was fixed on him as he came up the garden path. She was sitting on the porch, book in her hands, and glass of lemonade with long since melted ice. She smiled at him as he unlatched the garden gate, her shoulders relaxing
"Hey, mom," he called up, taking the last few steps in a jump.
She greeted him with a hug, which felt a little different from what he remembered. He was an inch taller than her now and her arms no longer enveloped him completely, but he drew comfort from them all the same.
"You're a bit late," she scolded, letting him go, "I'd planned to start dinner by now."
"Sorry," he said. "I just got kinda distracted."
He hadn't actually explained Roxas to his mother, so it would've been hard to explain that he'd been having an argument with someone who technically only existed inside his heart. He'd spared his mom a lot of the details of his adventures so that she wouldn't worry so much.
"Well, I'll go start it now," she said.
"Hey mom?" Sora said, as she turned to go in, "I was thinking about getting Riku and Kairi and spending the night on the beach."
He noticed the sudden slump in her shoulders, and quickly added, "If that's okay, I mean."
She looked back at him, a smile on her face, "Tell you what? How about you go invite them to spend the night here? I'd be glad to feed them dinner as well."
He thought about arguing, because the island was so important to all of them, but a sleepover here actually sounded better when he gave it a little thought. "Sure!"
"Pasta with shrimp should be fine for all of you, right?"
"Yup. Is it alright if I go get them now?"
His mother went into the house. "Go ahead, it should be ready in about twenty minutes."
"We'll be here," he called over his shoulder.
Riku's house was a little bit further away from his than Kairi's was, but Sora found his feet leading him there first. It was a long held tradition for him and Riku to race each other to Kairi's house.
He felt Roxas stir at the memory. He waited for a comment, but none came. The silence that stretched between them felt odd, filled with apprehension. Neither of them felt like the argument was over, he guessed.
Riku's bedroom was on the ground floor, so Sora cut across the yard and rapped on the window a few times. He pressed his nose up to the window and made a face against the glass, like he'd done when they were a lot littler.
Riku was laughing when he opened the window, "You dork. What is it?"
"Let's go get Kairi, and then go back to my house," he said, "My mom's making shrimp and pasta, and Roxas and I want to talk to you guys about something."
I don't want to talk about this.
"Of course you do," Sora muttered to Roxas, "If nothing else you'll want to complain about me."
Riku raised an eyebrow, "It is so weird when you do that."
Sora looked at him, faking affront. "It's not my fault that you can't hear him."
Riku snorted. "It's not my fault that you sound crazy when you talk to him like that."
Sora rolled his eyes. "You coming?"
"Sure, my chores are done. I'll just tell my dad." Riku disappeared from the window.
"See, you and Riku can complain about me together. He can say that I look insane, and you can say I am. It'll work out perfectly."
I know you're insane, and if he hears your idea, he'll agree.
"I have a little more faith in Riku than that."
"I'm not so sure that's a good thing," Riku said, returning to the window.
"Of course it's a good thing," Sora said, "How would we have gotten through everything if I didn't have faith all my friends? And that includes you."
Riku made a noise in response that might've been agreement, and might have been to just get Sora to shut up. He wasn't as sure about them as he'd used to be.
He climbed out the window. It was a little funny looking these days, because he'd gotten so tall. His limbs were a bit too long to manage getting through a small space too gracefully. Sora resisted laughing, and grabbed his hand.
"Let's go!" he said excitedly.
Maybe it wasn't much of one, but it felt great to be having this kind of small adventure together again.
The big tree beside Kairi's window had suffered during the last big storm. Three of the upper branches had been cracked away from the tree in high winds, as had the lowest branch, that Sora had always relied on to get off the ground. Fortunately, being a little taller and with a bit of a jump, he got to the remaining lowest branch that he hadn't been able to reach before. He shimmied up the tree, with Riku climbing up behind him. He waited until Riku was beside him, before knocking at Kairi's window
There was rustling as Riku rapped the glass, and the same blue curtains Kairi had had since she was ten where swept aside. Kairi peered out, first looking puzzled and then bemused as Sora waved.
"What are we, twelve again?" she asked, as she carefully took out the wire-mesh windscreen, and laid it inside.
"Yup," Sora said cheerfully.
Kairi shrugged, grinning. "Let me go tell mom, I'll meet you at the front door. What are we doing?"
"Dinner and sleepover, my house," Sora said.
"Too old to jump out windows?" Riku teased, grinning at her mock glare.
Kairi stuck her tongue out at him, "The branch won't hold us all. Get out of my tree before you break it, you giant."
She disappeared from the window and the two boys climbed down from the tree. They scurried around to the front of the house and stood outside waiting for her. After a few minutes, Kairi came outside.
"Like a couple of puppies," she said, a teasing smile on her face, "You just follow me everywhere."
"Except for when you two are following me, or we're following Riku," Sora said.
"True. So, your place?" she asked.
"Yeah," Sora said, "I was going to suggest the island, but mom preferred I stay home."
Kairi gave Sora a quick hug. "She's just worried."
"I know," Sora kicked a rock in his path for a few steps.
"So what is it that you and Roxas want to talk to us about?" Riku asked, as they started down the hill.
Sora sighed. "It's Roxas. He's... he's not really understanding something that well."
There was a push of emotion from Roxas at the back of his mind, a little bit anger, but mostly frustration. No words, however. Roxas seemed to be trying to ignore him.
Kairi paused in mid-step, and then jumped ahead of them a few paces, and turned. "What do you mean?"
"Do you... talk with Naminé?" he asked.
"Sure, all the time. Why?"
"Has she ever mentioned, well... fading into you? Until you're just one person again?" Before she could answer, he added, "Because that's what Roxas says is going to happen to him."
"Is that true?" Kairi asked. There was a brief silence, and then she said, "Naminé says it could happen if she tried. She says she could just... what was it?" Silence again. "Go to sleep inside my heart until her dreams are just another part of me."
"Well, that's what Roxas says is going to happen to him, and I don't like it." Sora began to walk again, and he could hear Riku following after a moment.
"Could... he wake up again, if he went to sleep?" Riku asked.
"Naminé doesn't know," Kairi said after a second.
Sora wanted to ask Roxas if he knew, but he was getting the impression that if Roxas was beside them, he would have his fingers in his ears.
"Roxas won't say anything," he reported.
Riku was silent, and when Sora turned to look at him, he saw Riku frowning. Kairi, then Sora waited a moment, until they were side by side again to start walking
"I really don't want find out either," Sora added. "I don't want him to fade into me. He's a separate person. We have different dreams. If there's nothing left of him, then it's almost the same as Roxas being dead."
"What does Roxas think about this?" Riku asked.
"He's being stubborn," Sora replied, words tumbling out in a rush. "He keeps saying we're the same person and that he wasn't supposed to exist, and that means it doesn't matter if there's nothing left that's him. And well, maybe he wasn't supposed to exist anyways, but he does now and we're not the same person. I don't think it's fair that to have a heart he has to stop existing."
You only say that because you've never just existed, you've always had a heart! Roxas finally broke his silence, frustration boiling over, Existing without a heart isn't living, it's just... existing. And it's awful.
"I'm not saying you would go back to existing without a heart, I'm just saying that you don't have to give up everything that makes you you to have one!" Sora snapped. "There's got to be something worth keeping."
"Back up," Riku said sharply, touching Sora's arm. "Let's all calm down."
Sora looked at Riku, but his eyes slid to follow Riku's gaze. Kairi was stiff, one hand clenched on the other arm, and her expression was sympathetic pain. Her head was cocked slightly, like she was listening to Naminé.
This was probably hurting Naminé, Sora realized. Wasn't she Roxas's friend, too?
"There's us," he said quietly, "Can't you just live for us?"
It's not a matter of living. I'm not living right now--
"Yes, you are. You're talking with me, you feel things, you can see. How aren't you living?" Sora would admit what he just said had several holes in it, but if Roxas pointed them out, Sora was more than ready to take them on.
Look, I told you already, this is just selfish. I'm lucky enough to have a heart and you're trying to stop me from doing the last thing it'll take to be whole. Why do you want us to be separate so much? I. Am. You. If I stay separate, you aren't complete either.
"Well, I can't tell the difference. And if there's no difference, then why do you have to fade? Naminé doesn't want to," he glanced at Kairi, "Does she?"
Kairi shook her head. "She says she's perfectly happy just as she is."
That's doesn't mean anything. Kairi is a princess of heart. Namine is different from other Nobodies.
"And I'm the wielder of the Keyblade. What does that have to do with anything?"
"I feel so left out," Riku said. "Look, how about we have dinner --I bet the pasta's already done-- and maybe afterwards you can stop arguing with Roxas long enough to tell us all what your idea is if he's not going to fade into you?"
"Why can't we just both live? I don't have an idea, that's just what I want." He sighed, slumping. Yeah, he didn’t really have an idea – which made arguing this a bit pointless.
Riku put an arm around his shoulders, “Cheer up. We can think about it while we go eat dinner.”
Sora started, “Oh, shoot! We’re gonna be late! Come on!”
They started running for his house, and made it to the front porch just as Sora’s mother was poking her head out the door to look for them.
“Good timing,” she smiled. “I just put it on the table. Good to see you, Riku, Kairi.”
“Hi, Aunt Hisui,” said Riku.
“What’s for dinner?” asked Kairi
“Shrimp and pasta,” she answered. “I’m glad to have you over. It’s been almost ten hours, hasn’t it?”
Sora grinned. His mom teased him about how much time the three of them spent together, but she liked them. Riku and Kairi had practically lived with him since they’d returned home, and she had no complaints.
“Hmm… more like twelve.” Kairi corrected, “Do you need us to set the table?”
“No, but I will make use of you to get the laundry on the line,” she said. “Not until after dinner, though.”
They ate in a companionable kind of silence, other than a few questions about their day. Did you remember sunscreen? (Yes, mom.) Goodness, Riku, you’re inhaling that food, did you eat lunch? (Yeah, but then they went swimming all afternoon.) Did anything interesting happen? (Not really.)
After dinner and a wet-towel fight, that Kairi would deny she had totally started, they climbed the stairs to Sora’s room and flopped in their usual places on the floor.
“Well, that was fun,” Kairi said, leaning back. “Have either of you thought of anything? Because Naminé and I’ve got nothing.”
“I didn’t even really think about it,” said Riku, looking embarrassed.
“Well, I did,” Sora said, “and the big problem is that Roxas doesn’t want to think of himself as a separate person from me.”
The silence in the back of his mind was remarkably sullen.
"So what I think we should really do," he began, sudden calmness coming over him, along with the knowledge that Roxas would be probably mentally yell or not talk to him for the rest of the night, if not week. "What we should do is to find a way to give Roxas a body."
What?
"What?" Riku echoed.
"I think it's the right thing to do. We're separate people."
No, we're not!
"I wonder how your mom would react to discovering she has twins," Riku laughed. "But... How would we do it?"
"That would be..." Kairi sat up, trailing off. "It would probably be very complicated. But..." she was quiet for a moment. "Would it be permanent?"
"What do you mean?" Sora asked, rolling on his side to look at her better.
More importantly: this is not a good idea. Doesn't anyone care what I want?
Sora just ignored the whine.
"I'm asking because Naminé says she wouldn't mind having a separate body some of the time, but that she doesn't want to always be that way."
"Well, as long as we're talking about something that might be next to impossible anyway," Riku cut in. "Why not? You could have separate bodies when you wanted and just sort of... I don't know, recombine when you're done?"
What if you disappear, instead of me? Roxas cried. What if only one of us could be a complete person and the other one has to disappear? What if you're left as a heartless because </i>I get your heart?
"You're grasping at straws," Sora retorted. "I wouldn't disappear or become a heartless if you were separate from me. You already had a heart, had feelings."
"Why does he think you'd disappear?" asked Riku.
Do you even know the first thing about how to create a body? You haven't messed with magic any more than you've had to. You don't know the first thing about how it works.
"I could figure it out. Plus we know a lot of people we could ask for help," Sora protested.
You don't have any idea what could happen, Roxas continued, You're just leaping in blind and you might be risking your life!
"So why don't we go ask Merlin?" Sora suggested.
"What did he say, about you disappearing?" Riku repeated.
"He was trying to scare me out of it by saying that it might go wrong and he'd end up with my heart and I could disappear," Sora waved it off. "But I don't think that could happen."
"But you aren't sure?" Riku asked. "It could happen."
"Yeah, it could," Sora shrugged, laying back down on his back. "A bag of munny could also fall out of the sky. Just 'cause it could happen doesn't mean it will."
"Don't be so flippant about it!" Riku said, sitting up, with one hand pinning Sora's shoulder. "I don't mind the idea of Roxas getting to be his own person, but I won't risk losing you."
Kairi scooted over and put a hand on Riku's, weaving her fingers into his on Sora's shoulder. She then took Sora's opposite hand, forming a loose hug around Riku. "We aren't going to die. Any of us."
After a second, Sora saw a shake that was almost a shiver ripple down Riku, and then Riku relaxed slightly. The pressure from Riku's hand eased, and Sora sat up, adding his free arm to the hug. |
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